joules_burn: (Tailwags)
I really don't share things on the internet anymore. I've covered this many times and sworn not to keep doing it, but a well learned lesson is a hard thing to ignore. But there are a few easy things to talk about and convey. And one of those is pets.

With one last e-mail today, all of my adoptees from last year are accounted for. So I'm going to take this moment for a gloat and a round up, so I remember the lessons learned this year. So not entirely happy.

 photo 30335_1324449786976_4205157_n.jpg
I'm So Sick of Animals )
joules_burn: (EYEBROWS)
I really meant to keep most of real life out of this journal.  But I think every corner of the internet I have has been pretty thoroughly infested one way or another with people I IRL know.  Which is just irritating, since I don't want to hear their crap about robots or what I post on my tumblr all the time.  But more importantly, because I hate the good 'ol boy system and the possibility of coworkers seeing me bitch.   

And I really do mean that.  I hate the good 'ol boy system.  I don't know if it's all the military (but I've pretty much had it confirmed that yes, yes it is), but it's half the reason I stay as happy as I can where I am.  I have no dick.  And that's how you get anywhere within the military structure, for the most part.  Probably, especially here in the south.  You have a dick and you play golf and you talk the big talk- even when you can't walk it.  I could name four people off the top of my head who did jack shit but play friends and do shit they weren't supposed to do in order to walk into their jobs.  You fuck up, you move up.  All that.  Hard workers need not apply. 

And when they need a fall guy, they find one.  My lead is being relieved of his position due to a failure that was caused by something that isn't even his job.  It's pretty much ruined my weekend.  Yeah, part of it is because he stood up for us and looked out for us.  And no one else in that org seems to know what we do, why we do it or if it even needs to get done.  But mostly, it's because that man is one of the sweetest damn people I know.  His eyes light up when he talks about his family or his rottweilers and he gets so embarrassed when things go over his head.   He's adorable.  He's completely adorable.  And it's so, so wrong that he has to deal with this now.  Worrying about where he'll be able to be moved, or if he can be moved in the company during an economy like this.  Dealing with the fact that he's in cancer remission and now might be unemployed.  

He's worked in the white house.  He's been from one part of the country to the other and probably to half the parts of the world considering what little I know about him.  And he's dedicated his life to security and for the last decade to this project.  And now they're tossing him out.  Because our whole command structure has been moving around, getting replaced, and our newest one seems to want his own good 'ol boys brought over to his own team.  Because he's not like that other team who we can never get support from.  Cause their lead plays games online with the big boss.  So no matter how many times he gets dressed down in the meetings nothing will happen to him.  

I dunno what's going to happen to my department, other than someone being brought in who doesn't even work on our side being given the reins.  But this weekend, at least, as worried as I am about what's going to happen to me, I'm going to be way more busy being pissed by what they've done to one of the gentlest men I know, who's stressed himself to the point of passing out to make shit happen for these asshats for years.  Just because he doesn't talk the good talk, he does what he needs to get done.  And doesn't misdirect blame if he does something wrong.  But mostly, mostly.  Because he's not just there to be their buddy.  

And just so this isn't completely real life related- TF Anonny, do you know us?  I might be jumping to assumptions here, but the angry no review rule came awfully quick if it's in reaction to me and Kon.  I guess it could have been someone else bitching about the same crap on the meme, but let's assume for a moment that it was because of our little bitchfest.  

Good lord, even if it wasn't.  Don't take it out on your reviewers.  Hell, don't take it out on yourself.  The whole point of bitching way over here on the other side of the internet is to let other people still have their fun.  Go have your fun, anon.  If we're bro or were bro, I hope you don't have hard feelings.  Heck, go have some discussion, if you want.  You can stay anon.  I don't think I or Kon have anon reviewing off.  (Edit: Oh, hey, I did have mine off.  Not off no more.)

But go have fun. Go have fun with your reviews and leave the bitching out of it, because, goddamn. You've written a lot and you deserve it. You want an honest review of the fic?  Cause I assure you it's still overwhelmingly positive over here and the majority of the bitching was about things that have bothered the both of us about the meme and fandom(s) in general for a long damn time.  Don't let other people bring you down and lessen your enjoyment in something that is so overwhelmingly positive.  
joules_burn: (Megatron: What you Say)
I'm starting to get bored. At least, I do believe that's what I'm beginning to get. A rather impressive feat considering I can entertain myself with a popcorn ceiling for at least an hour. Necessity adapted me to being a rather self contained and efficiently run pile of cell processes. But even so, now I'm starting to fester.

I haven't been forefront in a fandom since I was a teen with the time to do that sort of junk. My new job, however, has a worrisome amount of downtime, and while I should be studying for the time when my paranoia is proven correct and I'm laid off, I just don't want to spend the money on classes right now. So, my downtime has turned to other projects. But those are all planned now, and Christmas is looming close. Increasingly, every year, I kind of take a step back and wonder what I'm doing. I'm a somewhat neglectful friend when it comes down to it, but I tend to be a bit overly flamboyant when it comes to Christmas. It's not even driven by guilt or obligation (except in the instance of family). It's more like an excuse to shower people who I like with gifts without having to be embarrassed about it.

But that's all planned. Sites are marked for later reference. My supplies are piled on the counters. Now, I'm here at work without any of that and actual downtime (when my credit card isn't being fraudulently charged, anyway) that I'm starting to run out of things I need to research and am sitting here wondering what the heck am I going to do.

I finally got on board with tumblr, and looking through it when I remember to has made me realize that I'm back on the other side of the moat as far as fandom goes. I was having fun as a behind the scene runner. I've typed up long e-mails debating about jet characterization on blackberries while standing by the flightline gate and listening to jet engines. Skim over fics sent to me while sitting inside of a delivery van. Now I'm here and that's kind of gone now. Everyone who still had time for the internet has moved on now. Either busy themselves with other crap or gotten their own new circles.

And so, the conundrum of reliving college days. I used to write five posts a day. Used to have pointless comment conversations just to try and see if LJ had a max. Then everyone got busy and moved on, and it's kind of like that all over again. The internet can be a bustling infrastructure of fun an activity. But it can also be a void. Do I really want to run this operation pretty much solo? I'm rather used to running creatively as a group. Kon is around, but we do all the things together and real life tends to pull our interests in all direction.

I mean. I've got lists of roboart and robostories to write and draw and plot and do, but the jokes behind a lot of them have kinda gone dead and quiet. It's sort of depressing.

I suppose I still have my orders to do something for NANO. Just not really feeling very inspired.
joules_burn: (Spiderman: SOCIAL JUSTICE)
"And his two twin brothers, they're like five or six, but not as bad as this kid was. And for some reason one of the twins likes to, um *voice lowers* likes to play with girl things."

"I'm not sure why his mom lets him, but that kid sure likes his Barbies. I don't know if he'll outgrow it or if it means something for later. You know, like maybe he'll grow up to be like... gay."

Yes. You're a homophobe. I get it. Shut up. You don't think you're a homophobe but shut up. 'I'm fine with what people do in private but no one has the right to teach my son that that sort of behavior is ok' still makes you a homophobe. Not an understanding, of course not a bigot concerned parent.

We've kept away from politics lately. I thought we had something going. Or at least the ride to work wouldn't involve me replying with silence just to keep the peace.
joules_burn: (Fuck It!)
So in the beginning of November. I was right on schedule for Christmas. A bunch of crap going. Things planned. But right about on schedule.

Then I got in a car accident.

Not a bad one. Just a fender bender and three cars total and blahblahblah. Either way, now I have six hours of therapy a week which I make right back up by working six extra hours at work. My Christmas countdown got ruined and now I'm just happy to have gotten the chilren all of their gifts and hardly look at anything online because I'm busy keyboard smashing like a champ.

Oh, so my co-worker also dumped his cat on me because he's a giant dumbfucker penis and I'm wasting some free time also trying to find a home for him, as I've already utilized every corner I could smoosh a rescue animal into when it comes to my social pool.

NOW, I've been roped into driving six hours to go see my sister AGAIN and(barely a month later and not a problem because I LIKE my sister-BUT) I don't have any off time left with my job because I hurrhurred over to the parent company for more profit and apparently more rape because I count as a new hire despite having done this for six years.

But that's not it. Not the fact that I hate driving those lengths so close together in days or the fact that I didn't get Christmas cards out or my presents done or the fact that everyone I know is broke anyway. No. I've been roped into driving my mom up there.

So, if no one ever hears from [livejournal.com profile] konora again ever, it's because she clawed out of my car windows and onto a freeway because MY MOM. I can't even explain why this is so horrifying with anything other than MY MOM. Everyone can just hurrhurr in that our online buddylists isn't the only group who thinks we're sexgay.

Back to my keyboard smashing and caffeine.

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joules_burn

March 2013

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